Monday, January 15, 2007

Lesson Learned.

So last January, after coming close to death I looked up the phone number of someone who meant everything to me. That is, meant everything to me all through high school and college.

I've talked about him before as being the Jordan Catalano to my Angela Chase. But he was way more than that. I talked to him pretty much every night on the phone starting way back in 1991 and going well into the 2000's. But then he had a girlfriend that didn't like him talking to me and we lost touch.

Well, after my little scare, I thought about how much it sucks that you have people in your life that mean so much, and then they're just gone. Poof. So I looked him up, but never called him.

Until today. And I was very disappointed, because we talked for awhile, but it wasn't the us that we were back then. And it shouldn't be. I am married, he's married and we've just outgrown each other. It's kind of sad in a way, but at the same time not because it means we both have what we need, and it's just not each other.

Now if I went back in time, and told my sixteen, seventeen, or even twenty-year-old self that there would be a time in my life when I felt like I'd outgrown Bill, I'm not sure younger me would believe older me. You should see my high school diary (you won't). Pretty much every page is just Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.

But there you have it. Is he gone for good? Probably not. Bill to me is being a teenager. He's meshed into my childhood, like strawberry/grape nerds, sometimes I just want to eat strawberry/grape nerds and remember what it felt like to be a kid. Maybe sometimes, I'll want to talk to Bill and remember the good parts of being a teenager.

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