Four years ago today, Mr. Hobbitfeet and I got married. It was a very wonderful day. The sky was bluer than blue with the most perfect fluffy white clouds. Very few things went wrong, and if they did, people were kind enough not to tell me.
Despite all of that, I didn't enjoy a great deal of my wedding day, nor the bulk of my wedding night. Why? I can sum it up in five little letters PUPPP.
"Pups" is a rash that affects 1 in 200 pregnant women, and let me tell you, it's bloody awful. Because it doesn't harm the baby, and because most people only get it in their 8th month, doctor's have not researched it, have no cure (sure they give you topical creams, but they don't help). Unfortunately I got it in my 4th month (I was five at my wedding).
Now I was diagnosed with it by a dermatologist, but I often wonder if it was more about stress than anything else. After my wedding it got a little better, but for those 3 months. I WAS MISERABLE.
Nobody tells you about it.
You won't find more than a paragraph in What to Expect When Your Expecting it's the dirty little pregnancy secret that no one tells you, because then you might not get pregnant.
My whole body was COVERED in horrible, itchy red spots. I could sleep at night because I felt I was being eaten alive by some unseen bug.
Could my wonderful husband help? No! The bastard chews his nails like their candy. I went to the store and bought a package of cheap combs just so he could scratch the places I couldn't reach.
I know, I know you're not supposed to scratch, but it is impossible not to. The itching didn't help though. Quite possibly the only thing that helped was ice cold baths.
On my wedding day I gallantly made it through the ceremony without scratching. Everybody there thought I was crying during the vows because I was so happy, but really it was because all I wanted to do was scratch like a crazy person. And I did. My godmother held a small cocktail party between the ceremony and reception. The minute I got to her house, I locked her bedroom door, threw my dress over my head and scratched like you've never seen scratching before.
That night, the wedding night *nudge, nudge, wink, wink,* instead of nudging and winking, I sat in an ice cold bath (which I emptied an refilled three times) while my brand spanking new husband slept on the giant honeymoon suite bed.
2 days ago