Thursday, July 19, 2007

"Stuck on Band-Aids!"

So who are you, the type that pulls the Band-Aid off quickly, or the type to pull it off reeeaaal slooow?
I've always pictured myself in the former group, but have recently discovered that it is actually the latter. I've quit my job.
I had long ago decided I wasn't ready for full-time but for a myriad of reasons, mostly money, I kept plugging away. Mr. Hobbitfeet kept asking me to leave because frankly I was a mess. Everyday on the way to and from work, I was sobbing my guts out, which though some people (mom) have told me is normal, I don't believe is. The problem was not my job. It is a fantastic job, with fantastic people. I just kind of fell into my career path, and about five years ago decided it wasn't the path for me, but for a myriad of reasons, mostly money, I kept plugging away.

But I'd be at work and I'd be emotionally drained and miserable, and I'd be at home and I'd be the same. So I was sucking at my job, and at being a mom, and when all you do is work and mother, how can you justify sucking hard at both? So I was getting ulcers worrying about what on earth I would do.

Then all that good karma I'd been earning finally decided to smile on me and gave Mr. H. an enormous promotion at nearly double his current salary, and I suddenly had a light at the end of my tunnel.

So is it bad to be 30 and just getting the opportunity to figure your life out? I don't know, I guess that comes of having a baby at 20, but I can't really be all that alone in not knowing, after all Mr. H. is just getting a first chance at a career and he's 37.
So here is my out, but I let myself feel all guilty for quitting on my boss just before she leaves for Europe for two weeks, so I agree to stay much longer than I intended, giving over a month and a half of notice. Then, I allowed her to coax me into coming in once a week for several weeks to train the new person. Is quitting supposed to be this hard? At all my other jobs, I've given my notice, and phoned it in for two weeks until I could hit the road.

Damn this Band-Aid seems to be stuck!

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