Happy Birthday!

A great big happy birthday to Girl today. She's five (going on 21) and is, "having the best day ever!"



I'll save why it's not my best day ever for another time.

Boy's 11th Birthday Party

We just got back from the City Museum in St. Louis (Boy's choice for his birthday). Check out the pictures on my Flickr account.

www.flickr.com ejsm219's Boy's 11th Birthday photoset

Happy 11th Birthday!

To my Boy! You've always been ahead of the curve:

Happy Birthday!

To my sister La Sirena!
(This is her as Nancy in Oliver circa:1990)

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to my friend, cousin, and son's Godmother, Kelly. It's good to be 31 because no one dresses us alike anymore. Seriously, it's my first communion and you're wearing a white dress too, what's up with that?
Seriously though, Kelly was very religious around time, but her school made their first communion in third grade and mine made their's in second. So after they took this picture I was all "I'm holier than you now, hah hah!"

Happy birthday!


(and also, Hot Damn, do I have stupid hair!)

Girl Hates My Birthday

My first birthday after Girl was born, she cried and cried and would have nothing to do with anyone else until I left my birthday party out of frustration. This year it looks as if my birthday will be canceled on account of Girl's 103 degree fever and vomiting.

Happy Birthday!

A big happy first birthday to my nephew Little D from his fairy godmother!

(I was going to do this post that would show a picture I have of Boy that looks exactly like the one my sister currently has on her blog but the day ran away and I was too lazy to find and scan the picture. So here I am posting with only moments left to Little D's birthday.)

Happy Birthday, Princess!

Way back in 2003, a little baby girl was born; and although her parents didn't know it, she would grow to be very strange.

Very strange, indeed.

She would also grow to be very moody.

But mostly just strange.

And, on the occasion of her 4th birthday, when asked what she wanted for her special, birthday dinner, she would tell her mother and father that no other dinner would do except pepperoni pizza with monkey eyes.

Happy 4th birthday, weirdo!

Happy Birthday Mr. Hobbitfeet!

I didn't post earlier today because I am not sure what I wanted to say in this post. At first I was going to write stupid little facts about this day in history, but realized none of them would suffice.
When I met Mr. H. he was 30.5, and I was about a month away from being 24. That was 6 and a half years ago, and when you say it like that, it doesn't seem very long ago. I feel like I've always known him, though my brain realizes that isn't true.
Despite his early misgivings about even dating a woman with a kid (especially one he worked with) he is an amazing husband and a fantastic dad, and our lives are better because he is in them.
So happy birthday Mr. H.(though you don't read my blog) I am glad you got borned!

More Things I Learned At My Son's 10th Birthday Sleepover...Morning Edition

1. Fruity Pebbles cereal is like crack for kids.
2. Mr. Hobbitfeet will let children drink pop for breakfast if I don't watch him.
3. Apparently I'm the only person in the universe that can roll up a sleeping bag.
4. The carpet looks worse in the morning.
5. Every neighbor within a mile radius probably hates us.
6. Every other one of those parents expected to get to our house and see Mr. Hobbitfeet and my heads on stakes and the kids reverted to some Lord of the Flies type state of being.
7. I am now the proud owner of: 5 mismatched socks, one pair of dirty underpants, a t-shirt, a jacket, and (for some unknown reason) a giant rubber band

Things I Learned At My Son's 10th Birthday Sleepover

1. Kids love playing with water in the mud (although their parents may hate me).
2. Although the helium tank says the balloons will last 7 hours, when you get a dozen boys in a room, they will only last a half hour.
3. When you buy 5 pizzas for 12 ten-year-olds, buy 4 pepperoni and 1 cheese. Nobody will eat that sausage, nobody.
4. Silly string only lasts 5 seconds.
5. You will never buy enough silly string.
6. When you get the glowy neon necklaces, buy extra connectors because they fall off and break.
7. The neon glowy shit in those necklaces burns like a motherfucker if it accidentally breaks and squirts you in the eye while your trying to get it to glow.
8. 12 ten-year-old boys are really, really loud. Like rock concert loud. I. am. not. joking.
9. I really love my mom for giving Boy a karaoke machine or I'd have never gotten them to shut-up.
10. Seeing 12 ten-year-old boys do a can-can while all of them are singing Livin' La Vida Loca, is crazy funny the first time. The second time, not so much. The third time you'll want to kill them.
11. Boy is very afraid of "Light as a feather, Stiff as a Board."
12. I throw wicked awesome sleepovers.

All systems are go for your message to La Sirena!

Hey, La Sirena!
It's your birthday!
I'm in charge of the stars
And I'm here to say,
Hey La Sirena,
You're the BIG STAR today!
My name is Zoom
And I live on the moon
But I came down to earth
Just to sing you this tune
'cause La Sirena,
It's your birthday today!
A present for you
I wanted to find
An outerspace creature
A one of a kind!
A wild whop or a kukelchoo,
An snaffledrop or a buzzardoo
Or maybe a 3-eyed tickleshay
For your birthday
Did you ask: "uh, what's a kukelchoo?"
Well, up on the moon it's nothing new
But that won't do for you,
On your birthday!
I searched behind the clouds and stars
I even zoomed my bike to Mars
And met my friend the saucer man
And he said: "Hey Zoom I got the bestest plan!
What your friend needs is something new,
So how about a song, just from YOU?"
And so tonight when you're in bed
I'll be singing to you as I zoom overhead
Singing, La Sirena! Happy Birthday
Singing, La Sirena! Happy Birthday
Singing, La Sirena!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, La Sirena!
See you next year!

GAK!!!

So you know how much I am stressing about Boy's 10th birthday party. Boy is not your normal little boy into sports and fighting and what not. So, how am I supposed to deal with a house full of boys that are?

So I thought we'd enjoy my woods, have a campfire, etc.

Then I saw this:

Now what am I supposed to do? Thank God my Aunt D. gave the kids an indoor S'mores maker or I'd be stuck with two bags of marshmallows!

Happy Birthday, Godmother*!

*Also known as Aunt Colleen (or Nini, or Weezer, or Aunt Tequila, which ever you prefer)!

Tres! Drei! Trois! 三!

Happy Birthday Girl!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Happy Birthday to my dad. This has always been one of my favorite pictures of me and my dad, even though he has cheesy 80's glasses. It reminds me of half-day kindergarten when my dad had midnights, and was there when I came home from school. We would eat liver saugsage and watch the Price is Right, which was way better than the days Mrs. H. picked me up.
In this picture my dad had to get his picture taken for some manner of I.D. and after he took the first two pictures I got in the booth for the next two, somehow we resisted the urge to make silly faces.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Happy Birthday!

Last year on my mom's birthday I blew out my knee. This year I was very sick (which is why I didn't say it sooner) Happy Birthday Mom! I hope you're having fun. Some fune facts about June 21 for my mom from Wikipedia! Lots of blood, gore, and supreme court decisions. But woohoo! Go Skateboarding Day!

And now, a birthday post...

A belated but very happy birthday wish goes out to my nephew Big D, even though he's too cool to read my blog. I would have written it on his birthday (June 10th) but I was to busy trying to figure out how this guy:


Became this guy:

Roller Disco A-Go-Go

On Saturday, Boy had his birthday party at Silver Star Skate Center in Mattoon. Holy Cow! We must have lost our minds!

To be fair this party wasn't as bad as the one we hosted at our house the year before. Last year there were 12 or more kids running amuck in our house, and even with the endless activities we still had impromptu light saber fights, tears and from one annoying kid, recriminations for not immediately ripping the forbidden Pokemon cards from Boy’s hand the minute one of the guests gave it to him. “I thought Boy wasn’t allowed to play with Pokemon! How come you’re not taking them away! What’s wrong with you, my mom, and our teacher anyway? Why can’t you let us play with Pokemon? What do you mean it’s violent?”
This year I didn’t have to clean my house, or think up fun activities and games, but I did have to keep track of eight, high-energy kids in a dark, crowded roller rink. Also, CAPTAIN OBNOXIOUS made a birthday party comeback. “I thought Boy doesn’t like cake! Why did you buy cake if Boy doesn’t like cake? What do you mean other people might want cake, it’s Boy’s birthday? What if Boy doesn’t want just ice cream?” Not to mention the roller rink only provided one piece of pizza per kid and we had the HUNGRIEST KID EVER at our party. We ended up buying all the extra slices of pizza that they had at the rink. The HKE at two more pizza slices along with 3 of the cookies that the roller rink provided, ice cream, cake, all the candy in his treat bag, and all of the Oreos of off the top of the cake (there were five, he ate four and Boy had one). Even with all of that food, the HKE still wanted more, and bought stuff from the concession stand with his own money. Yikes.
I must say that Boy is not very good friends with CO anymore, but I made Boy invite him to the party because I don’t like the reason that he dumped him. Mainly that the HKE is one of Boy’s new best friends and HKE and CO don’t get along. I remember being a kid and getting dumped by my friends because they didn’t like my new friends—CHRIS I am talking about you—so I acted like a mom and intervened and they all got along great, I was just annoyed.
Also Mr. Hobbitfeet was great helping the kids with food and stuff, but he couldn’t recognize any of them unless they came up and said “Hi I am at Boy’s party!” So I was running around the whole time making sure none of the kids were missing/grievously injured/dead. Mr. H. says that wasn’t necessary, that the mom’s don’t do that at the skating parties Boy goes to, but I would have lost my mind if these kids that belonged to other people lost so much as a pinky nail on my watch. Needless to say we won’t be at Silver Star next may if I can help it.

Number 9

Happy 9th Birthday Boy!!