What I've Learned as a Mom...

1. You can live with getting pooped/peed/vomited/sneezed on.
2. You might be sick of Ring-Around-the-Rosy, Duck, Duck, Goose, or that book after the sixth of seventh time but kids WILL NEVER GET SICK OF IT!
3. It is entirely possible to load the washer, while talking on the phone, opening a juice box and helping a kid go potty.
4. Toys you played with as a kid are still awesome, cartoons that you watched...not so much.
5. You can survive on three hours of sleep a night, but everyone will tell you that you look terrible.
6. The minute your pediatrician goes on vacation, your child WILL get sick.
7. Your kids seem a lot younger than you did at that age.
8. Smudges on everything don't really matter.
9. Little kid socks are not designed to stay on.
10. Ditto for panties when your little girl is in a dress.
11. There isn't a kid alive better than yours.
12. Santa Rocks.
13. The Tooth Fairy has a much harder job than Santa.
14. If your kids do half the things you did as a teenager, you'll cry.
15. The words butt, fart, and poop will always get you a big laugh.