Boring Post

Since our vacation, we've kind of been trying to last on very little until Mr. Hobbitfeet's next payday. Luckily it's today. So I was in desperate need of a snack, but there were none to be had so I decided to try and make hummus. We've had some dried chick peas in our cabinet for awhile, and I checked out the Internet and ran into some problems.
Every recipe I found was super complicated, but they all had the same basic ingredients so I decided to wing it. The results were pretty good. It isn't the best hummus I've ever had but it isn't even close to the worst either, and it works well with the Triscuts that my kids won't touch. I guess that I better replace the chick peas though for the next time we can't afford snacks.

A Rather Amusing Day

I have been cracking up all day long.

Girl and I were talking about her baby cousin (who's 18 months old on Saturday) and she did air quotes like this:
Me: Well, Little D is a baby.
Girl: You mean a "baby."

It's her dad's fault. He is always doing air quotes ironically. She even said it with his tone. I could kick his butt.

Then we got the "WORLD'S UGLIEST RENTAL CAR" for our trip, a white Dodge Magnum. I have always hated white cars and this car looks like a giant stepped on a minivan. I've renamed it the Dorko car for my family because it is as ugly as an old fashioned rooftop turtle carrier that my family calls dorko boxes.

I also bought those vacuum storage bags and had a lot of fun watching all our stuff shrink down into little flat packages.

Then we bought Boy sunglasses that snap on to his glasses and he walked around with them on all night, so we renamed him Cory Hart and laughed at him saying he could look at our light bulbs now.

So now you now why I am nerd. I'll see you in a week and a half!

Can I Get One for My Dog?

I want to thank theStearlingJoe for bringing this to my attention, because, although it is weird and creepy, the photos on the site had me laughing for about an hour.

Cats in wigs are awesome!

Hmmm....

I haven't gone to see my Sitemeter stats in awhile, so I thought I should pay them a visit; and, whooo-doogie, I am popping up on some weird searches.

The two that bring people to me the most are people trying to make ant costumes and those trying to make a Dorothy dress. So I thought I'd give tips.

I made Boy's ant costume like this: I took a piece of black fabric wrapped it around my son to size it, than sewed it in a big tube. Then I took red fabric and made a rectangle on the front and sewed red and black fabric into what I imagine an ant's body looked like. Finally I added ribbon to keep the whole thing up. The head was harder. I took a baseball cap, clear packing tape, and craft wire and messed around until it resembled an ant head and didn't poke Boy too much. Then I hot glued red fabric with black accents and feelers and voila!
I just bought a pattern at Walmart for the Dorothy dress. The main thing that I think made her dress look cool is that I found gingham with little squares instead of big ones because that's what Judy Garland has in the movie.


5 Jungle pants: I don't know what jungle pants are, or why you want 5, but good luck with your endeavors.

Don't Dress Your Cat in an Apron- A while back I quoted this poem and my mom and sister followed up with some other gibberish. I've been getting weekly hits on it ever since. I learned it from Free to Be You and Me when I was little. My sisters and I listened to the record endlessly and then watched the movie, and you can too! Just be warned that the cat in the apron is only on the cd and in the book.

Swirly, Whirly Jungle Pants, Psych- Boy would be pleased to see that I am the #1 result for this search, (even if he doesn't say it any more because he rewatched the episode and now says "sandpaper with banana patches!"

Deep seated or Deep Seeded- Clearly I'm not the only one with this issue I get hit monthly because of it.

Turkey Lurkey Karaoke- Yeah, uh-huh.

Happy Birthday Weirdo- Well thanks, but you're about a month off.

what does an over abundance of falling acorns mean- A) that you have too many oak trees or B) you're at my house

trees are my best friends easy- seriously, are you just randomly typing words into Google?

Pictures of the Insane- Well that's just wrong, it's not a side show.

pictures of monkeys in bathing suits- Wonder Monkey likes those pictures too, cause she's a cheeky monkey!

dum (sic) monkey that fall out of trees film-Tarzan is always making fun of poor Cheetah

and my personal favorite- Freaky Santa Photo!!!!!- Awesome!

Report Cards and Margaritas

Boy got his report card and for the most part he did well; however, (dum-dum-dum-duhhhhh), he got a "C" in Reading (which was his first "C" ever not counting penmanship in first grade, which I don't). Apparently he is extremely disorganized and leaves stuff in his homeroom when they switch classes, and his teacher has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to homework. That means when she collects it, you need to hand it in immediately and have it completed or it's a zero. Personally I think that's a bit much for 5th grade. I agree not doing it would suck but it seems Boy's problem is mostly that he forgets to bring it to class. I think she should let him run and get it and bring it right back, but whatever. Also, he gets pulled out of Reading to go to band on Tuesdays and Thursdays and doesn't always finish what he's working on in his free time. That is his fault. So my new job is getting him organized and doing his make-up work. Poor pumpkin, being pulled out for G.E. (gifted education) and Band must make it tough to catch up, I wish the school had a better system.
In other news, my mom had the kids on Saturday, mostly so Mr. Hobbitfeet could catch up on his "Life-Portfolio" for school so that he can get life-points as credits and finish in normal time. After this semester, he will have met all his requirements for his major, but since he was a transfer student, he doesn't have enough upper-level class credits to graduate. If he does his portfolio right, he may get enough of these to finish, if not, he'll have to take a bunch of electives to get enough credit. So we're hoping he gets it right.
I mostly just cleaned this weekend; however, Mr. H. and I did go out for dinner, and I got the monster margarita you see in the picture in my last post. It doesn't necessarily come across in the picture, but it was HUGE, about as big as a salad bowl and fit about three or four regular margaritas. It was also muy fuerte y era una poca borracha by the time we left. Honestly I had no idea it would be that large because it's a new restaurant. Mr. Hobbitfeet only had a sip or two, choosing to stay sober so he could drive us home and work some more on his portfolio. He's very responsible.

¡Hola!

Monster Margaritas anyone?

Turkey Lurkey Doo and Turkey Lurkey Dah!

So one of the advantages of ALWAYS leaving town for Thanksgiving, is you don't get lots of leftovers and therefore don't get turkey-ed out.
Three or more years ago I was given a Williams-Sonoma gift certificate but could never use it because they didn't accept it online or through their catalog and I didn't have access to a store. They just started accepting them online and I followed Ree's advice and bought turkey brine.
Yesterday I prepared the brine. Let me tell you, it stank. It was supa-shtanky. My house smelled through and through of salt and strong smelling herbs. Plus, I wasn't feeling too hot yesterday, and so it actually made me nauseous.
But after all the heating and cooling and other steps involved, I was able to get my turkey brining in the late afternoon. I cooked it today and let me tell you, it was FANTASTIC.
Was it worth all the trouble? Yes if I don't have to make the turkey like that all the time. I highly recommend giving it a try yourself. If you don't mind your house smelling like the bad parts of the ocean for a day.

Just Goes To Show You

I grew up on the Southside of Chicago. Now I live in uber-rural East-Central Illinois (which means near Indiana, but equally far from Wisconsin and Kentucky or Missouri).
Now when stated like that, when do you think I was more likely to be awoken by gunfire?
If you said when I lived in Chicago, you'd be wrong. In the entire time I lived in Chicago, I was not privy to any gun violence (that I was aware of). This weekend was the opening of deer season and all I hear are guns going off.

I Do Know that I Am A Geek

Everybody kept telling me I had to watch the new Battlestar Galactica. That I would love it. At first I didn't because I didn't have the Scifi Channel. After we got it, I didn't watch it because I believe that I watch too much damn t.v. But then I Netflixed it and loved it.
Now I am pathetically addicted and am fervently trying to watch all three seasons before the new season starts a week from Saturday. Whew that's A LOT of TV!
I also found out that Joss Whedon is going to have a new show next Fall. I've been whining about getting Joss back to TV since Buffy ended in 2003.
Also, I am bidding on a Christmas decoration from my childhood on Ebay. I have bid on things on Ebay in the past but there has never been anything that I haven't thought, "oh well," if I don't get it. Often I forget that I bid on anything until I get an email. This time, however, I am obsessing about it. I keep checking to see if I am still the top bidder, and my top bid is insane, Mr. Hobbitfeet would kill me if it got up that high. Luckily, it's relatively low, and if I can just get through the next couple of hours, I'll own it for my very own. I want it bad.

One more thing, instead of letting him watch TV, I made Boy practice his clarinet. Now he's torturing me with the worst noises ever. I think he's deliberately squeaking because he normally doesn't do that.

Oh, And Did I Mention

Because I went to school to be a writer (even though all I do with that training is write ranty blogs with too many commas), I am behind the WGA strike. Writers should get paid for the work they do, especially if other people are getting paid for the work they do. I really like watching shows on my computer. I have to watch ads to do that, and from my PR work I know those ads are not cheap. A show is only as good as its writers, so if you like TV support the writers.


Click Here to Learn More!!!

Why Visiting Chicago Is . . . .

. . . . awesome- we see our loved ones and maybe get some of the yummy food we miss.

. . . . sucks-we run our asses off, don't eat right, and I only sleep well in my own bed, so by the end of the trip I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Plus the traffic is crazy bad, and I get awfully lonely for trees.

Mr. Hobbitfeet says that some day we'll move back to Chicago, but the lack of trees and over-abundance of cement freaks me out. Plus, Thursday I was laying in my hammock enjoying the nice weather, and a bald eagle flew right over me. A BALD EAGLE!!! It was so cool, I admit I cried a bit, just like one tear. Shut up! Have you ever seen a bald eagle in the wild? Just flying by, dummty-dum like it's a sparrow or other really common bird?

The answer is no. While they have made a comeback they're still crazy rare, and I got to see one in my back yard! How can you leave that?

Did You Think You Lost Me?

I know it's annoying when you come to a blog that hasn't been updated in over a week. I feel that annoyance too; however, first I was out because I was playing with my friend, Jenni. Then I was out because I was recovering.

I loved having Jenni here, but I am glad that she is gone too, I simply can not handle drinking more than one night a month, let alone three nights in one week. I couldn't hang and I couldn't sleep and I had a week long headache. I did discover though that there is a good winery not too far away from me that has good, cheap (and Mr. H. says too sweet, but he doesn't know that I don't like bitter dry wine) wine in a myriad of unusual flavors like Rhubarb that taste a lot better than they sound. Although there were a lot more Jesus pictures than I normally like in my winery, but it is to be expected as this is Central Illinois. Also Jenni pointed out that Jesus really likes wine.

Now I am suffering from a chest cold because I refuse to admit that maybe I shouldn't sleep with the window open, or if I do, I should find my down comforter and stop just using the quilts that I use in the summer.

And now a list!

Things that have happened so far this month that make me happy.

1. I found really nice shelves at Menards for $30 each that created enough room for me to get all of my books out of storage and left me opportunity to buy new books provided they're small paperbacks.

See, there are gaps in the upper right hand corner begging to be filled. And, hey, before you judge me, consider that Boy has a shelf in his room filled to bursting too and you don't see all 7 of my hardcover Harry Potter books as they're in a more prominent place flanked by the bookends Boy won for looking the most like Harry Potter (I just thought I should be judge based on the full amount of books in my house).

2. When I told Girl it was October (her birth month) she almost exploded she was so happy. She even had a special October dance, and unlike Boy who is born at the beginning of his month, Girl has 23 days to celebrate.

3. Boy stop tortuously squeaking on his clarinet and now makes actual clarinet sounds.

4. There is a woodpecker in my yard.

Thoughts on Raising My Children

I was a single mom until my son was five years old, then I got married. Although I won't pretend for a minute that raising kids as a couple isn't a million times better than doing on your own for most things, there are certain advantages to being a single mom.
The most wonderful thing about raising a child alone is that you are THE authority on everything in your child's life. You get to make all the rules and know that you're the one carrying it out. Take whining for instance. With my son, I was extremely successful at quashing the whining at a fairly young age, but doing the same things that I did with him are NOT working with my daughter. I know that a portion of the problem is that every child is different; however, I know that part of it is that Girl is "daddy's little girl" and he both dotes on her and spoils her to death.
I often talk to him about trying to get her to stop whining, and he hates it as much as I do, he's just not as on board as I need him to be. So, the whining continues. Everyone needs to be on board, but when it's just you, everyone IS on board because you are everyone.
Another benefit of single parenthood (although this only works if you are absolutely alone as I was) is that you get to pick where you and your kids will spend holidays. No splitting your celebrations and spending an absurd amount of the day driving. In addition, you develop a very close bond with your kids. You never hear "I love Daddy the best-est." You get to be the best-est always because you are the only one there.
Of course co-parenting is awesome too. There is always someone around as amazed as you are at lopsided hand-turkeys and poop in the potty. When you get to the end of your rope you can shove the monkeys off on their daddy, and if your friend needs you to go out, you don't have to scramble to find a babysitter. In the end, I am much happier as a co-parent, but being a single parent wasn't that bad either.

And Now for Something Disgusting

If you ever felt the need to give your children a really disgusting drink, here is your chance!

I am the snack mom for Girl tomorrow, and since drink boxes are banned (too squirty) I thought I'd give Crayola Coolerz a chance. They're billed as "flavored water," so at most I thought they'd taste like watered down grape juice. Boy, was I wrong.

They don't have sugar (so they claim) but (at least Purple Pizazz) taste like a cross between a melted grape Fla-vor-ice, and that disgusting drink that they give you for your pregnancy glucose test.

The worst part is that now, because I refuse to bring them to snack time, I am stuck with 24 of the things.

Mall Walking

My daughter's preschool is the next town over, which just happens to be the closest town with decent stores. When we picked up Girl's school shoes this month, they measured her foot which was a little over a 10. So they recommended a 10.5. Monday, I looked at her gym shoes and realized she was still wearing a 9.5.
Sizes are something I am really bad at noticing. Unless my kids specifically tell me their clothes or shoes are too tight or I randomly notice that they are too small (say the pajama shorts are starting to look like those things cheerleaders wear under their skirts), I just don't think about it, which is maybe how my son continued to wear 6-7 underpants when he was supposed to be wearing 12.
At any rate, I decided I'd stop at a Payless on my way home from taking Girl to preschool. I didn't expect the mall to be open yet so I wandered around town for an hour, window shopping mostly. Then at 9:30 I headed into the mall. The mall itself was open, however only a few stores were, so I settled on a bench and played Tetris on my phone.
All of a sudden, 50 old people with shopping carts came barrelling toward my bench, which was at the far end near JC Penny's, and when I say barrelling, I mean walking very slowly and purposefully pushing their carts, but still 50 at once was a little scary. I felt like they were all coming to get me and suck all of my remaining youth and vitality (hah!) like some kind of essence vampires.
When the first members of the pack got to my bench, however, they swung around behind me and started their creepy march up the other aisle back towards the Sears, and I knew who they were: Mall Walkers.
Now I know it's hot, but I think this is a little creepy for several reasons.
Reason 1) It's a nice day. It may get hot later, but it isn't hot right now, get you butt outside.
2) What is with the carts!?
3) I know that my readers who have never been to my mall are picturing a massive mall with loads of stores and pretty fountains and fake bird noises coming from the foliage set up in little flower boxes, but I live in Central Illinois. This "mall" has a small Sears on one end, a minuscule JC Penny's on the other and maybe 14 stores in between, at least four of which are closed. In the middle of the mall area (where most malls would have the fountains and foliage) are little flea-market-like stands where people peddle anything from thrift store quality goods to odd homemade crafts (often macrame and wood burnings), so why would you want to be in there?
4)I didn't know there were so many old people even in this town.

Also, by the way, I took forever buying the shoes. Apparently purple (the color I was ordered to buy) shoes are in short supply, unless I want to pay $30 for a pair of Sketchers. I didn't and ended up getting white and pink shoes. I am pretty sure I'll be forgiven though because not only do they have Disney Princesses, but they also light up. I am happy because they were only $10!

Why You Wish You Lived Where I Do

Now that I am home , I've decided to go walking everyday. So I headed to the lake park that starts behind the properties across the street from me. Of course I have to walk the long way to get to the paths, but the views are gorgeous. There is no one to keep me company except Mr. Giles and the 3 billion spiders who have built their cobwebs across the path. It is so beautiful it makes me wonder about the legions of people who do laps on my block when they could walk a block farther and see sights like these:






Of course you do have to watch out for the trees, they're hungry.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I followed my dog,
And that has made all the difference.

(Sorry for the quality, I only had my phone.)

My Favorite Words

I was bored, unsure what to write and my head is too full of Harry Potter for me to think. So I just thought I'd share my three favorite words.

troglodyte- a)a member of any of various peoples (as in antiquity) who lived or were reputed to live chiefly in caves or b) a person characterized by reclusive habits or outmoded or reactionary attitudes

triskaidekaphobia-fear of the number 13

facetious-joking or jesting often inappropriately or b) meant to be humorous or funny : not serious

I like all of them because of the way they just role off of your tounge. What are your favorite words? Why?

Nasty Mama

BS at First of Six was disappointed that her blog rated only a "G", which was mine got originally because it was only scanning the last 10 posts. Once I got it to look at all of them, my rating went way up. Though really I am not sure it's deserved.

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
dead (16x)
hurt (9x)
ass (8x)
crappy (7x)
breast (6x)
suck (5x)
kill (4x)
shoot (3x)
asshole (2x)
steal (1x)

Rating by Mingle²

Where So Many Others Went Wrong.

This morning, as I watched the local PBS with my sick daughter, I happened to read the flash flood warning scrolling across the bottom of the screen. After the usual babble about where the warning was occurring came this message: "If you encounter a flash flood, turn around! Don't Drown!'

Welcome Back Baldy!

Bald Eagle.jpg
Originally uploaded by Snapperz

The American bald eagle was just removed from the endangered species list. The article states that there are now 10,000 mating pairs, and at least one mating pair in each of the 48 contiguous states. That is fantastic and I am very happy for you bald eagles. The original article I read (not the one I linked to) had the following quote:
George Wallace, vice president and chief conservation officer for the American Bird Conservancy, recalls when he was still in high school in the 1970s he saw his first bald eagle on Plum Island in Massachusetts. It was a rarity.“Seeing a bald eagle in the mid ‘70s was a big deal,” he said Wednesday. “It was something you really looked forward to seeing. Now, to be honest, bald eagles are pretty common. (Chas. Times-Courier 6-29-07)

I'm sorry but what!? Maybe as the VP Blah blah blah of the American Bird Conservancy you see a lot of bald eagles but I don't know many people who have seen one. I hear one lives at the lake two blocks from my house, but no matter how many times I try, I never see one. Personally I'm not sure that 10,000 mating pairs sounds like enough. But what do I know? I'm just a city girl that learned most of what I know about animals from my son.