High Anxiety

I am very high strung at the moment. I am not sleeping and when I do, I have horrible dreams that make me even more exhausted. For the most part my anxiety is warranted- worrying about family members who aren’t in the best of health. There is a part of me, however, that is worrying about something ridiculous and unfortunately that is a big part of my sleeplessness.
You see, I get very stressed out about finding the right gifts for people. I agonize over it for quite awhile before it’s time to shop. Then I wander aimlessly around various stores to see if anything speaks to me. This year I know I failed miserably. Mr. H. and the kids were with me for a large part of my Christmas shopping and were getting very tired of following me around while I picked something up, carried it around in the cart for awhile, and then changed my mind. Plus, Mr. H. kept reminding me that we wouldn’t be able to shop last weekend because we’d be doing family stuff. So, in the end, I panicked and went with some traditional stand-bys which, on principle, I tend to avoid.
Now that there is less than a week to go, I am up at night worrying whether everyone will like what I got them or if they will think I am lazy and don’t really know them at all. I’d hate to think of myself as bad gift-giver.
Also, I still have one gift left to buy. The recipient’s name stares at me from my Christmas list screaming “FAILURE! FAILURE! YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TO GET, AND THERE ARE ONLY 6 DAYS LEFT!!!!!” I should know. This is a person that by all rights I should be close to and know exactly what the perfect gift should be, but I don’t. I have buyer’s block. So I am anxious, and the days are slipping away.

Will I end up being the type of person that will take a bus cross town on Christmas Eve to buy a didgeridoo because in my insanity I have resolved that it is the absolute best gift? WILL I? Well, dear readers, if one of you gets a didgeridoo from me on Christmas, you’ll know that I will.

P.S. Yes, I did actually get a didgeridoo for my birthday once. I got it from someone who should have known better. I can’t play it, so it was used as a sad decoration until Girl started pulling herself up on things, then it was put into storage, where it remains.