Home Movie Nightmares

My mom has a "farm" about 20 minutes north of us. Although the 10 acres that they rent out to a local farmer make it technically a farm, it's more of a weekend home. My mom works in Chicago during the week, my step-father putters.
Recently I have been doing work around the farm because we need a little extra cash to pay for all of our kids activities and for the upcoming gift-giving season.
As I was cleaning her living room, I ran across a massive box full of videotapes, including, several of our home movies. So I borrowed some to take a gander.
Back in the early to mid eighties my parents bought a video cassette recorder. It consisted of two different machines that were connected together, it had a remote that was attached to a long wire. It also came with a camera. Unlike cameras of today it was huge and bulky. In order to work it, you toted part of the VCR on your shoulder like a purse and the camera was attached with a wire. It was cutting-edge technology people.
The tapes that I had were mostly family vacations, birthday parties, and Christmases. I'd say about 80% of the family vacations were shots out the window as we drove. A good 10% were either my mom or my dad not turning the camera off right and we'd see wildly spinning views of the world as they put it down, then a sideways view of the world and people having everyday conversations in the background. There was also quite a bit of time of my parents telling me or my sisters to get out of the shot while they panned the landscape.
What I've realized is that 1.) unlike Hollywood movies, I will probably never look back at these movies crying about what fun we had. 2.) I will probably never be able to watch these movies without getting motion sickness. 3.) As much as I joke about it, there was a very real point in my life when I walked around looking like Bobby Brady, and 4.) I really hope I never wear my pants that high again.
Probably the best part of the home movies was that the last Christmas was taped over a recording that my mother made of Little Miss Marker when it was on WGN in (probably) November 1984. Mr. H. and I really enjoyed fast forwarding the movie and watching all of the commercials. In addition to a really old White Castles commercial about a bunch of college kids driving an hour to get some hamburgers (possible inspiration for Harold and Kumar), there were a bunch of commercials for furniture stores that featured some really awful looking furniture which at the time was probably very stylish, and a bunch of old jingles to which I could sadly still sing along.
Come on let's here it:

Motra, Motra, Motra, Motra
Now my car shifts sweet!
giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up
Motra, Motra, Motra, Motra
At a price you can't beat!
giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up
You better shift to the Motra
and shift for the better right now!

But by far my favorite was for Love's Baby Soft, that showed a teenage girl and boy falling in love because she was wearing Love's Baby Soft. I looked for it on Youtube with no success. Maybe someday I'll figure out how to get the videotape into my computer so I could share it.

C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R!

So Jenboglass at the Steenky Bee was talking about Grease and Grease II, which for some reason made me want to watch Grease II. Unlike her, I actually own the movie. I got it as a twofer from Best Buy when I bought the original.
Truthfully, I know every word to every song. Thanks to my cousins K. and A., I saw the movie several times a month as a kid.

After hearing a few songs from her room, Girl joined me. She may have thought I was watching High School Musical or some other wacky Disney movie. The following were actual coversations that occured during the movie (keep in mind she 4, oh sorry, 4 and a half).

Girl: So wait, what is that guy doing?
Me: He's learning to ride a motorcycle.
Girl: Why?
Me: Because he likes Stephanie and she told him she wants a "cool rider."
Girl: Mommy, that doesn't make sense.

Girl: Okay, who's the guy that built the motorcycle, and who is the guy who rides it?
Me: They're both the same guy. They're both Michael.
Girl: Who is he trying to be? Is he a superhero?
Me: I don't know baby I guess.

Girl: Mommy, is Michael dead?
Me: We're supposed to think he is.
Girl: That girl shouldn't have made him be a "cool rider."

Girl: Is that Michael, is he in heaven?
Me: Yup. Stephanie's dreaming.
Girl: And she's in heaven.
Me: Yup.
Girl: Wait, his motorcycle's in heaven? Mommy, motorcycles don't go to heaven.

Girl: Well that was a good movie, Mommy, but High School Musical is better.

A Night At The Movies

Tonight the kids and I went to the movies to see Prince Caspian. We left daddy at home, which he said was awesome because he had 3 hours of blissful silence. Yes that was three hours because they listed the start time as 6, but it wasn't until 6:30 and the movie was two and a half hours long.
Neither Boy nor I was very impressed though. As true lovers of the books, we felt this movie was long, boring, and changed in ways that really didn't make too much sense. I do think that is a criticism that I have of most movies made out of books that I love, but seriously, if a book has been a classic for the last 57 years, it obviously was doing something right, and who are we to randomly mix up the chain of events?
Still, it was pretty to look at, and I liked the music. I thought my D.L.F was nicer and "dearer" in the book, and I didn't like him acting like Grumpy from Snow White the whole movie. One change that I did like though was Susan openly having the hots for Prince Caspian (and him returning the favor) because I am a girl and I like a little romance in my war movies (I guess you were right Peter Jackson, too bad you take on Arwen sucked so hard).
Maybe I wouldn't have felt the movie was so long if Girl hadn't sat on my lap the whole time fidgeting and grabbing my ears the whole time.

The Sun'll Come Out . . . .

Recently, Girl has become obsessed with the movie Annie. She wants to watch it a lot and spends a great deal of her time listening to or singing the soundtrack. I have to admit that I really encourage this phase as it sends me right back to when I was little and my sisters and I would act out the play as we sang and danced along to the soundtrack (Broadway by the way none of that Hollywood crap for us).
So lately, if you were to pull along side us on our ride to or from her preschool, it is quite likely that we'd both be singing our hearts out to either the Hollywood or Broadway version of Annie on my iPod.
Oh and you should be aware that I am talking about the 1982 movie not that 1999 made-for-TV crap with Kathy Bates.

Welcome to My World . . .

Yesterday:
Me: Mr. HOBBITFEET, you should get us the Forgetting Sarah Marshall soundtrack. I think you'll like it, they re-did a bunch of songs you like in Hawaiian, plus it has the songs you liked from the movie.
Mr. H.: Nah, I'm to busy finding disco for myself. I've had Disco Inferno in my head all day, so I must be in a disco mood.
Me: Yeah or you've been burning things all day. Please just get it for me, I want it.
Mr. H.: Fine, whatever. I'll get the Finding Sandra Osbourne soundtrack, but I bet it's not any good.
Me: For-get-ting-Sar-ah-Mar-sh-all. It's not hard, we saw the movie last week.
Mr. H.: FINE!

Today:
Mr. H.: You watch movies more than me, so you should always tell me when you hear a good soundtrack.
Me: Ummm, I do. Why?
Mr. H.: Well, the Forgetting Sarah Marshall soundtrack was really good. Those remakes in Hawaiian were awesome. Plus it had those songs from the movie that I liked.
Me: O Rly?

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Me: I've got something for you.
Mr. H.: Thanks eagle man.
Me: I can't believe you just said that. I guarantee that you haven't seen that commercial in 10 years.
Mr. H.: Yeah but it was so good that I remember it.
Me: Hey, remember when everyone made fun of eagle MAN laying an egg so they made a new one with eagle woman. Only there was nothing super or womany about her except a pill box hat. Eagle man was better.
Mr. H.: No. Eagle woman was better because because it was so bad.
Me: (Pulls them up on Youtube)
Mr. H.: You're right. Eagle man is better.

You decide:

Random Musings on The Santa Clause

It's Christmas time and to celebrate my family Netflixed all three of The Santa Clause movies. What I like more than anything else about them is that all the main characters were the same through all three movies (all that is except for Bernard who missed the third one because he was too busy solving crime with math). Even the little boy who was beyond cute in the first one and awkward and less attractive in the other two came back (though to be fair he spent all of ten minutes in the third one).

Burned Into My Brain

When my son was little, he watched certain movies again and again (and I KNOW he's not the only one, dear sisters, don't even talk about Sandy Duncan's Pinocchio). Wizard of Oz was one of those movies and so was Toy Story 2. At the time, I could recite the entire movie when it wasn't even on.
Recently Girl watched both of these movies and I discovered that I still could. You'd think after 6 years it would have gone away. Now I guess I know why I can't retain any of the math I've been reviewing for my GRE, my head is to full of stupid movie lines.

Hey, howdy, hey, that's me! I'm on a yo-yo!

A Last Time for Everything

Boy and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie last night.
We both liked it, Boy a little more than I. I thought it was better than the last one, but nowhere even close to the book. I've stopped letting my expectations get high though and that helped my enjoyment.
At any rate, Boy wanted to dress up for the movie. He wore a wizard robe, a fake scar and carried a wand. When we got there, he was the only one dressed up, and felt embarrassed. Especially when a lady behind us tapped him on the shoulder and asked in a very condescending manner (as though she were speaking to a three-year old) "Are you the REAL Harry Potter?"
I think that mostly he wanted to dress up because the older boy that he idolizes in his Taekwondo class said that he would dress up if his mom let him go to the midnight show (Boy denies this vehemently). I told Boy that most of the people at the midnight show would have been dressed up, but it didn't help
So, I think that the next time the movie comes out, he won't be so quick to dress up. How sad.

This is Boy as Harry Potter (age 4) for Halloween.

Oh Yeah, And. . .

I haven't done this in forever because I've bee non an angst-ridden-mom trip, and that's all that I have been blogging about, but if you've never seen SLiTHER, I highly recommend it.

Normally, I don't allow myself to watch horror movies. I get very scared, even at the most ridiculous ones, and find myself thinking of the scariest parts just when I'm supposed to sleep. Also, on normal days, I have dreams that cause me to jump out of my bed, and run down the hall or turn on a light (I don't know why, I never remember the dreams, but it annoys Mr. Hobbitfeet because it wakes him up). When I watch scary movies, it's worse.

Anyhow, I love Nathan Fillion , and James Gunn's Myspace blog cracks me up, so I made myself watch it, in the daytime. . .when I was supposed to be cleaning for Boy's party. I thought that would be the best time, because I thought that if I got scared, I could just say "Shit, I can't watch this movie, I've got to clean" and turn it off.

But I watched every second. It was hilarious (if you think that zombies are funny). I even gave a full recap to Mr. H., then I made him watch my favorite part (little kid zombies) even though he showed no interest. Then since he wouldn't watch it (and I have a rule about not keeping my Netflix too long) I bought a previously viewed copy., because I must own all of the movies I like.

Seriously it's a good movie. Watch it.

Netflix just sent me Tromeo and Juliet. I'll let you know if I love James Gunn as much as I love Joss Whedon. I know your breath is bated.

You Know Me...

You know I love Wonder Woman; you know I love Joss Whedon. So you know that I am just plain heartbroken that he is no longer directing the movie. It would have been fan-freaking-tastic.

What Makes Me Evil.

Girl and I watched Heidi, this was the result:



I did comfort her both before and after I filmed this, I am not that evil!

Movie Night Part Deux

Well, just as I promised, I rented Flight of the Navigator for Boy. He loved it as much as I did when I was little. This time we did much better; he laughed at all the same things that used to make me laugh. That was so much fun. He liked both movies, but he liked FotN better than Explorers, but if you have a kid as wonderfully nerdy as mine, I highly recommend both.

By the way, there is one thing that FotN had in it's favor (at least in my kids' eyes): Paul Rubens is the voice of the ship. He's credited in the movie as Paul Mall, but listening to the ship throughout the movie (and a quick double check of IMDB) lets you know the truth. My kids love Pee Wee. As a kid, I always thought it was just a really good Pee Wee impersonation. I guess that is one of the differences that the Internet makes.

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1/11/07
I completely forgot one of the most important parts of this story. Girl joined us for movie night last night. What was her opinion of FotN? She thought it was the SADDEST movie EVER. Girl cried throughout this entire movie. The only time she didn't cry is when the ship scanned the kid's brain and became Pee Wee Herman to a "T". She cried every time the little boy said he wanted his family (which happens quite a bit). She cried when the brother went onto the roof (because it's naughty to be on the roof). She cried when he willing leaves his family ("I want Davey back"). She cried at the happy ending (and not happy tears).
Girl is still in the phase where she can not imagine life without her mommy or her daddy, and especially with out her big brother, so FotN will have to wait for her until she hates us a little bit more.

Movie Night

One of the things I love about Netflix is that I get to pick the movies I want my kids to see. Although I do get some present-day movies, I often pick movies that I loved as a kid. The one I got for Boy this week is no exception. I rented the movie Explorers which was released in 1985 (F.Y.I- it was both River Phoenix's and Ethan Hawke's first movie).

Now when I was little I absolutly LOVED this movie. I was in love with River Phoenix for years afterward, probably up until he died. Plus, I thought the whole movie (especially the part with the aliens) was hysterical. So I was really hoping he would like it.

He did, but for totally different reasons than I did. Obviously I didn't expect him to think River Phoenix with cute, as he bears no resemblance to Hillary Duff, but I was selling it to him as a really funny movie. His reasons for liking it were all scientific, and though there were parts that he found really funny, he really didn't get the aliens. I guess that's understandable as they were imitating television shows pre-1985; at one point the alien does a Humphrey Bogart impression. So I guess that shows how different Boy and I really are.

Mr. Hobbitfeet had never seen this movie either, and laughed at the ridiculousness of it, but almost fell over during the final credits when he saw that Wolfgang was played by River Phoenix. He had watched the whole movie, and though he pretty much looks like he did in Stand By Me, I guess Mr. H. hadn't recognized him. Mr. H. and I did laugh pretty hard when Wolfgang was talking about his high tech computer and said it was 128K.

Next up, Flight of the Navigator!

"Holy Mother of God and All Her Wacky Nephews"

So my daughter has been sick, and I haven't really ventured out of my house except to go to work since we came home the day after Christmas. So what have I been doing (I mean besides nebulizing my daughter and posting old commercials of Wonder Woman)? I have been going to my utmost Whedork extremes.
Why is that? Well I parlayed my Christmas gift cards and cash and invested in the entire Firefly 'verse. The series, movie, and any day now the (comic) book that bridges the gap between the two (zooming it's way to me from Amazon). I even got around to watching the River Tam Sessions, so you know I am hardcore.
Not only that but I listened to all the commentaries and have been boring my Whedork of a husband with all I know. Now you know I'm a geek when I can out geek the geekiest geek that ever geeked.

I am not Meander, but...

for once I thought I'd tell you about a movie I saw. Because, with my kids with my mom at the IHSA Class 7a State Championship game (Way to go St. Rita! You Rock Peter!), I actually got to go to a movie!

Mr. Hobbitfeet and I went to see Stranger Than Fiction, and I've got to say that I really enjoyed it. I had heard a lot of good things about it and I have to say that they were all true. I think that Will Farrell was amazing and did well even though he wasn't being his typical goofy self. And I really liked the story.

Mr. H. said "You don't get a lot of comedians who can do the Dick Van Dyke thing, where they're good at both the physical comedy as well as the, well, other kind of comedy, but Will Farrell was close to that genius in this movie." Which, though it may not sound it, is high praise from him. He also liked the way the reaction shots were filmed. Mr. H. really likes reaction shots and cares a great deal how they come out. He likes to look for ones that stay long enough to make you slightly uncomfortable, which apparently happened enough in this movie to make him happy.

So, although I may not write like the best movie critic ever, I highly recommend Stranger Than Fiction

Pee-Wee with a Touch of Noir

Up until 2001 all of my significant relationships started in November.

Bill N. (November 17, 1991) I dated bill for six months, which as a freshman in high school is forever. Then we became best friends and remained that way until 1999 when his girlfriend told him he couldn't be friends with me and he was dumb enough to listen.

Martin S. (November 6, 1994) My last high school boyfriend. I dumped him shortly after I got to college and got rewarded with two CD's filled with bitter hatred.

John M. (November 11, 1995) Bitter. Bitter. Bitter. But we all love Boy so let's forget the rest!


But then in 2001 (January to be exact) I got a job at Chicago Visitor Information. This cocky guy walked in on my 2nd day. I won't say it was L.A.F.S. but I won't say I hated him either.

Things I liked most about Mr. H. back then:
1. Every Thursday when he came in at 11 a.m. he would bring a copy of The Reader for everyone and would sing "I'm buying a Reader for you, not an ordinary Reader will do..."
2. He laughed at my Soylent Green joke even though it went over the customer's head.
3. He shared his crosswords with me.

Anyhow after months of refusing to date me because we worked together, he relented and we had our first date, which just involved watching videos. We each brought one. He brought Kiss Me Deadly (pretty obvious huh? To bad he didn't get so much as a peck) and I brought The Pee Wee Herman Show ("Big enough piece of cake or what?")

This took place in October. Five years ago tomorrow.

A Weekend with the Family

La Sirena, Meander, Mr. Meander and Big D all joined us at the farm this weekend. On Saturday I made Spinach Manicotti which my family really liked. Here's the recipe. I've discovered that cutting the wine in the sauce makes it better. Meander says it had a zing that she didn't expect. I tripled the batch although I couldn't make all of it because my mom didn't have enough baking dishes to cook them in. But it was a lot of food and it was gone by lunch on Sunday. The thing I hate most is all the chopping involved. I don't like how the food processor cuts things and always do it by hand and it takes awhile.

We watched Pride and Predjudice with Kira Knightly, which I liked. I also watched Brokeback Mountian by myself because Meander had it and I wanted to see it. I didn't really feel much one way or another about it. Now keep in mind that it was late and I was sleepy, so I could have missed something, but I didn't feel like it conveyed their love at all. It was all pretty shots and missing the point as far as I could tell. But then again, I hated American Beauty and everyone loved that movie so maybe I'm just weird. We also played games. Overall, it was a fun weekend. I even took a couple pictures.